Natalie Segall
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  • Why consult a grief counsellor?

WHY CONSULT A GRIEF COUNSELLOR?

11/1/2015

7 Comments

 
It is important to understand that a grief counsellor is different from a social worker, psychologist, psychotherapist, or any other type of counsellor or therapist. A grief counsellor specializes in – and has devoted years of study and training to - thanatology, which is the intensive study of loss, grief, bereavement, mourning, death, dying, and palliative care.

Grief affects different people in different ways, and the grief journey is a highly personal one. Some individuals are unable to address their grief, for such reasons as the stresses and pressures of life, health issues, denial, and trauma. This phenomenon of being stuck in grief is called being frozen, and the feelings of loss, depression, and emptiness can become debilitating. The unaddressed intense emotional pain caused by the death of a loved one can manifest itself as an underlying cause of physical and mental health problems, both immediate and future. 

For those living with issues due to unaddressed grief, emotional, physical, and mental health problems may manifest weeks, months, even decades later. Very often the grief-stricken individual does not connect what they are experiencing with their past, unattended-to grief. 

However, if they do make the connection, it is very likely that they have been regularly subjected to the all-too-common mantra, “But you should be over it by now...” proffered by well-meaning, but ill-informed friends and relatives, who cannot possibly understand their personal grief journey.

So, if you are stuck in a place of grief, unable to move forward in your life, a grief counsellor can help you come to terms with such issues as trauma, compound, complicated, and disenfranchised grief. A qualified grief professional will never counsel you to ‘let go’, or to ‘get over’ your grief, or to have 'closure.'

A qualified grief professional will help you move forward with your life by facilitating healthy, proactive, portable coping strategies and normalizing triggers, in order for you to get back to a healthy and meaningful life. 
7 Comments
Shawn
11/1/2015 04:40:16 pm

If only those had around me had shown an openness and honesty about death when I was seven! At that tender age, my 48-year-old father died of a heart attack on a Sunday, and I was back in school the next day, believing that the onus was on me to pretend that nothing of any importance had happened. From that blustery Sunday afternoon in March onwards, nobody – my mother, neighbors, teachers, the local Anglican minister – spoke to me with directness and honesty about this traumatic event. Sure, a few people might have bandied about some guarded euphemisms or ‘fairy tales’, but nothing more. Nor did I attend the funeral. Darkness had befallen me, and cast a pall over my life, but I had to ‘keep up appearances’, and appear to be (for my mother’s benefit) the rosy-cheeked boy who felt no pain.

In later years, I grappled with alienation, corrosive anger, substance abuse, severe depression, suicidal thoughts, and much dangerous and impulsive behaviour. At just short of the age of 50, I was saved through intensive psychotherapy and grief counselling, and will be taking anti-depressants for the rest of my life. Such were the consequences for me of traumatic childhood loss of a parent and unaddressed grief.

Reply
Millie Hue link
5/21/2018 07:21:30 pm

I never knew that a grief professional doesn't encourage letting go or getting over the grief, but they promote coping strategies to help a person get back to a healthy life after the death of their loved one. A friend of mine lost her mother a couple of months ago, and he is still grieving for her. With this information in mind, I might try to suggest that they have an expert to help him cope up because I am worried about the way he is acting nowadays. Thanks for the information!

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Bethany Birchridge link
7/9/2018 12:01:04 pm

It's nice that this article mentioned that grief can no only cause mental and emotional pain, but physical pain as well. My friend lost his niece, and he's been having a really hard time. Do you have any tips for choosing a great grief counselor?

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Ellie Davis link
7/31/2018 03:40:36 pm

Thank you for suggesting that a grief counselor can help you come to terms with trauma. My mother just passed away and my daughter is struggling. I'll have to look into finding a grief counselor in the area.

Reply
Arya Smith link
7/31/2018 07:06:06 pm

I like that you mentioned that a good counselor will never tell you to let go or get over with the pain. I will keep that in mind when I have found a counselor for my best friend to ensure that she will only be having the services of a quality counselor. She just needed to have someone professional to talk to since it has been two years since her mom died, and she can't really move forward that much due to the sudden death.

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Amy Stables link
9/23/2018 10:45:15 pm

Great content and a thorough study on how to get rid of frustrations through <a href='https://www.nottinghill-counselling.co.uk/services.html'>Anxiety counselling</a>

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Lupe Quinn link
2/14/2019 04:47:17 am

Grief not only affects your physical health, but also affects your social life adversely. Are you truly satisfied with your present life? This is one of the key queries grief forces every individual to address. The commotion of grief is everything between now and shifting to the life you wish. Grief is painful. Capturing the beautiful moments of life and appreciating that moments- is the other side of grief. I think working with a grief counselor will give you the opportunity to support yourself during loss with great respect.

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    Natalie Segall

    Based in Montreal, I am a certified loss and grief therapist and counsellor, consultant, facilitator, and educator. Having been trained and mentored over many years by 
    leading grief and bereavement expert, 
    Dawn Cruchet, I also received intensive training in psychotherapy at the Argyle Institute. I
    provide
    support, counselling, information, and education for individuals, patients and family members, caregivers, clergy, counselors, nurses, nursing home administrators, social workers, psychologists, physicians, funeral directors, marriage and family therapists, and all those working with chronic or terminal illness, death, dying, grief or bereavement. My website can be found at nataliesegall.com

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